I often say the path to self-love is an "art", not so much of a science. For example, if you want to lose 7 lbs of weight, that is a science, and there are many formulas you can follow. If done correctly, you will lose weight. However, just like fulfilment, self-love is an art. It's specific to each individual, and what works for some doesn't work for others.
I am sure you have heard the "just love yourself" or how important it is to love yourself as this links not only your self-esteem but your mental, social and physical well-being.
I believe we all have innate self-love. I think society and media have programmed us that putting ourselves first is either selfish or having lots of self-love is negative. So, where do you start on this journey and I use the word journey as this isn't some magic pill you can buy over the counter. Although a crystal or two can help!
Loving yourself starts with trust. Just like any relationship, you don't fall in love overnight. It takes time to get to know the person and learn about them. Could it be that we have forgotten what makes us happy and how to feel self-love? It's not surprising in a world where every nanosecond is already gone, as most empaths are always giving rather than receiving!
So here are a few tips to try out to see what works best for you. The idea is then to cultivate a routine where you focus on this daily. What you focus on manifests!
1 - Being kind to yourself
Being kind to yourself is key to general well-being and the abundance of everything you want. Let's start with self-talk. How do you talk to yourself? Would you talk to someone you cared so much for like that? Practice being mindful of what you are saying to yourself and change the message. If our thoughts can change water molecules, then imagine what happens inside our bodies.
Looking in the mirror is probably the hardest thing to do without feeling or thinking something negative. Well, for us women, that is, men are more likely to wake up and look in the mirror and say positive things like I am looking good today! Women, on the other hand, pick themselves apart. We see the problems, not the beauty, first. I.e. I am having a bad hair day again, my eye bags are getting worse, and any physical body parts we aren't happy with. Your value doesn't lie in how your body looks! So wear what makes you feel comfortable, happy and confident.
Don't be afraid to let go of who you currently are for who you want to be. This includes toxic people and situations. This is truly liberating to step away, even if it's a brief moment and will do wonders not only for your self-esteem but ultimately your self-worth. Putting yourself first is also a practice, so think of a situation you can try this.
2- Start small
If there is only one thing to focus on, let it be this, start small. See if you can make a list of all items that help your physical and mental states. Not only things that cost money but Including cost-free and easy, quick options so you can start every day achieving. Our brains love to accomplish things on our lists, and with this comes confidence and self-love. Each time you practice something off the list, you show self-respect and grow that bubble of self-love one day at a time. See the beauty in simple things.
Some ideas could be a spa treatment, new lipstick, yoga class, walk in nature, 1-minute meditation, buying a new crystal, eating something healthy, listening to music you love that no one else does, dancing while no one is watching. Each time you practice, know that you are putting in the energy to increase your self-love.
3- Stop comparing yourself to the world!
Comparing ourselves to others isn't helping any of us. Following influences can motivate, empower and encourage you, but if looking at posts makes you feel inadequate, either stop following or send the love and light. People always look at other peoples lives with rose tinted glasses, I am sure if you asked the person directly, you would be given a totally different story. Looking from the outside in, it is easy to make up a story! That's why we can't compare ourselves to anyone, as we aren't like anyone on this planet. Focus on yourself and your journey. It's the only one you get to walk. Another point here is worrying about what others think of you. Easier said than done. I see it as I can't make everyone happy, and not everyone will like you no matter what you say or do. So find a tribe of people who nurture, encourage and empower you to grow without fear or judgement.
I couldn't miss gratitude as it's transformational. If you already meditate or haven't started, now is the time to start. Journaling can help with leaning into the fears that are blocking your self-love practices. I like to ask these questions when I am fearful.
1- What would be the worse thing that could happen?
2- What could be the best thing that could happen?
3- What's the most realistic thing that would happen?
Writing down your thoughts and going through scenarios will help the constant internal chatter and leave space to practice some of the other self-love practices.
You have innate love already inside you. It's just learning to nurture the seed to grow. It doesn't take much to start, and like anything in life, it compounds.
Sending much love and light to you all.
Enjoy this journey, life is pretty amazing when you open up to Love!
Self Love Crystal RRP: £15.00 (Heart Bowl Not Included)